Naruto Ultimate Chat
by WeirdlyMine
Summary: What happens if Naruto Characters get AIM? Here's the TRUE Naruto Characters and their personalities. Author's note: I am freakin sorry because this is my first fanfiction and its pretty direct. and random.... .
1. Naruto Ultimate Chat 1

**HokageToBe15 has logged in**

**SmartMedic has been invited**

HokageToBe15: Hey Sakura!!

SmartMedic: oh… Its u. I thought it was Sasuke…

HokageToBe15: Is that all you think about? Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke.

SmartMedic: OMG Sasuke's on. Invite him!

HokageToBe15: NO! I DON'T

**UchihaSasuke104 has been invited**

HokageToBe15: WANT HIM TO BE WITH ME!!!

**UchihaSasuke104 has signed off**

SmartMedic: Look what you've done, asshole.

**MatrixBoy225 has logged in**

HokageToBe15: Hey Shino!

MatrixBoy225: you guys wouldn't believe what happened.

HokageToBe15: what?

MatrixBoy225: Friggin stupid. I heard that everyone is copying us and making an IM screen name!

SmartMedic: No way!

MatrixBoy225: Hell yeah.

**SandBoy204 has logged in**

SandBoy204: HELP!!! You guyz!

HokageToBe15: What's up, Gaara?

SandBoy204: After I became Kazekage, this servant of mine keeps following me!!!

HokageToBe15: Lucky… I wanna be Hokage so I have servants following ME and acknowledging my greatness!

SandBoy204: That's not the problem you idiot! He's following me saying that I have to do paperwork!

HokageToBe15: … so?

SandBoy204: Quick! Someone send me a clone of me!!! I need him to do paperwork!!!

SmartMedic: Make one, genius!

SandBoy204: Right. I knew that.

**KazekageServant1 has logged in**

MatrixBoy225: Who the hell are you?

SandBoy204: SHIT! Now he has a screen name?!?!

KazekageServant1: Kazekage-sama! You have to finish the paperwork.

SandBoy204: STOP STALKING ME!

SmartMedic: What kind of paperwork is it?

KazekageServant1: It's a peace treaty.

HokageToBe15: …

SandBoy204: I don't CARE about peace stuff!!! Kill them all!!!

MatrixBoy225: And we trusted you, Gaara…

SandBoy204: You don't understand, okay? It's the Fire Country's peace contract!!!! You guys are in Leaf, so its okay.

SmartMedic: …

KazekageServant1: KAZEKAGE-SAMA!!!

SandBoy204: Fine. Bye you guys.

**SandBoy204 has signed off**

**KazekageServant1 has signed off**

**ShyGirl2 has logged in**

**PuppyLove7 has logged in**

**PuppyBoy246 has logged in**

HokageToBe15: Hinata! Kiba!!! Akamaru!!! Wassup?

ShyGirl2: Hi… naruto-kun…

PuppyLove7: Wassup?

PuppyBoy246: fdsz!

HokageToBe15: WTF?

PuppyLove7: Akamaru says hey!

HokageToBe15: Yeah, w/e

HokageToBe15: Hey, btw, where is Neji? He's been missing for weeks!

PuppyLove7: … you didn't hear the story, did you?

HokageToBe15: What story?

SmartMedic: yeah, I don't know the story.

MatrixBoy225: -gasp- You don't mean…

PuppyLove7: Yes, that.

MatrixBoy225: Neji's got stuck in the laundry again??? 

PuppyLove7: WHAT? No! I mean the mountain!

ShyGirl2????

PuppyLove7: See, I was in the mountain with Neji… You know the Mountain of the Dead? We were there, because TenTen dared us…

ShyGirl2: OMG, that TenTen. Father will be SO mad (although I would be VERY happy…) So what happened?

PuppyLove7: Well, you see. TenTen dared us so we decided to camp out for the night trying to prove that there is no Yondaime there.

HokageToBe15: but you KNOW that he's there! I saw him myself!

SmartMedic: OMG, I cant believe that you guys are trying to prove it even though everyone knew Yondaime's there!!

**4thHokage has logged in**

MatrixBoy225: Who are you?

4thHokage: I know where you all live and I have Neji with me!

SmartMedic: Hell yeah you know where I live! You were the HOKAGE!!!

4thHokage: Fufufufu… You don't even know who I am!

MatrixBoy225: Yes we do. You are Yondaime, the 4th Hokage of the Leaf Village! Your screen name says it all

4thHokage: Dammit!

**4thHokage has signed off**

**Slughime216 has logged in**

Slughime216: Sakura! Get your ass over here! You are gonna train with me!!!

SmartMedic: Okay, Tsunade-sama! Bye you guyz!

HokageToBe15: Bye!

MatrixBoy225: bye

ShyGirl2: Bye!

PuppyLove7: Bye

PuppyBoy246: fda!

**SmartMedic has signed off**

**Slughime216 has signed off**

HokageToBe15: Well, you guys, I guess we learned one thing.

PuppyLove7: What?

HokageToBe15: You shouldn't try to change the truth with someone else's power but YOUR power. We can change anything with our power.

PuppyLove7: …

MatrixBoy225: …

MatrixBoy225: What are you, a geek?

PuppyLove7: I know, let's get out of here…

PuppyBoy246: hyoo (translation: yeah)

**MatrixBoy225 has signed off**

**PuppyLove7 has signed off**

**PuppyBoy246 has signed off**

ShyGirl2: I think… that was a… great lesson, Naruto-kun. I believe you…

HokageToBe15: but its not enough…

**HokageToBe15 has signed off**

ShyGirl2: …God DAMMIT! I can never get that right!!!

**ShyGirl2 has signed off**


	2. Naruto Ultimate Chat 2

**WeirdlyMine has logged in**

WeirdlyMine: Hello, viewers of Naruto Ultimate Chat, I am here to apologize for my last chapter and I hope you like the one here right now. The latest chapter of NUC will be more PLANNED out.

WeirdlyMine: So far, Neji has been missing, the 4th seemed to be the bad guy, Sasuke thinks Naruto is gay, other Naruto characters are making IMs like Naruto, Sakura, Shino, and Sasuke, Gaara wants war with Konoha, Gaara's faithful servant is a stalker, Akamaru started talking random on IM, and Naruto gave a lecture to everyone which scared them off.

WeirdlyMine: Now here's the continuing chapter of NUC

**WeirdlyMine has signed off**

**HokageToBe15 has logged in**

**MatrixBoy225 has logged in**

HokageToBe15: Wassup?

MatrixBoy225: nm, u?

HokageToBe15: Same…

MatrixBoy225: So did you see Neji while going to Hinata's house?

HokageToBe15: nope…

MatrixBoy225: why did you go to Hinata's house anyway?

HokageToBe15: Because I'd rather be NaruHina instead of SasuNaru…

MatrixBoy225: …

MatrixBoy225: There's a SasuNaru?

HokageToBe15: I know… It's disgusting!

MatrixBoy225: Well, yeah… that too… but it has a great ring to it. Maybe you guys are meant to be…

HokageToBe15: …

**GeniusOfHardWork1 has logged in**

GeniusOfHardWork1: Hey guys!

HokageToBe15: …?

GeniusOfHardWork1: ARGH! Isn't my screen name a dead give away??? Its me! ROCK LEE!!!!

HokageToBe15: Oh. Yeah. Hey, Lee!

GeniusOfHardWork1: ROCK Lee. And hey to you, Naruto.

MatrixBoy225: Hey, Rock Lee.

GeniusOfHardWork1: Hey Shino.

GeniusOfHardWork1: Neji didn't show up for training today, do you guys know what happened?

MatrixBoy225: Ask TenTen, she's the one who dared Neji to go to the Mountain of the Dead…

GeniusOfHardWork1: You mean…

MatrixBoy225: Yes, the one where a lot of people died. I haven't gone there myself, but according to Kiba, it's a very creepy place… at least it sounded like it.

HokageToBe15: Yeah… I almost wet my bed trying to go to sleep yesterday…

GeniusOfHardWork1: LOL

MatrixBoy225???

HokageToBe15: What's so funny?

GeniusOfHardWork1: That is the worst excuse yet!

MatrixBoy225: What do you mean?

GeniusOfHardWork1: I've gone to that mountain with my youthful Gai-sensei! I hike there all the time!

HokageToBe15: WHAT?!

GeniusOfHardWork1: Yeah! I hike there all the time! Its my favorite mountain! The trails are SO easy that you cant even GET lost if you wanted to! The trails are a straight line!

HokageToBe15: …

MatrixBoy225: …

HokageToBe15: so its either Neji is a complete idiot or he was kidnapped!

MatrixBoy225: Wait. Hold on. Remember how we got the IM from Yondaime? He said that he kidnapped Neji!

GeniusOfHardWork1: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

MatrixBoy225????

GeniusOfHardWork1: You guys, Yondaime doesn't live in that mountain! He lives in the other mountain in Sand Village!

HokageToBe15: So Yondaime was bluffing… what a coincidence.

**GreatA1m has logged in**

HokageToBe15: TENTEN!!! What did you do with Neji?

GreatA1m: huh??

MatrixBoy225: You dared him to go to the Mountain of the Dead and he didn't come back!

GreatA1m: LOL… good times… good times…

MatrixBoy225: Good times???

GreatA1m: Yeah. I dared him, because I knew he'd go for it! I made him think that Yondaime lived in Mountain of the Dead. But I also made sure it WAS the Mountain of the Dead since it was the easiest trail…

MatrixBoy225: What an idiot…

**HarryPotterShinobi has logged in**

HarryPotterShinobi: Just the warning from Orochimaru-sama, we will be taking Sasuke with us.

HokageToBe15: So??

HarryPotterShinobi: So fight back, idiots!

MatrixBoy225: Who would fight for Sasuke?

GeniusOfHardWork1: Although I don't blame Orochimaru for wanting Sasuke. He DOES have a sexy body…

HarryPotterShinobi: Arrgh. You Konoha ninjas are better than I thought. I shall take note of your great reasonings…

**HarryPotterShinobi has signed off**

**CuteBlonde4Life has logged in**

CuteBlonde4Life: Help!!! You guys!!!

HokageToBe15: What?

CuteBlonde4Life: Sakura… Sakura…

HokageToBe15: What happened to Sakura?

CuteBlonde4Life: She was walking next to my flower shop and Chouji was on my roof with Shikamaru, helping me get all the flowers downstairs. But Chouji lost balance and fell off and landed right on Sakura!

MatrixBoy225: OMG!!!

CuteBlonde4Life: So we took her to the Medical Center, and they said that she is going through some brain damage! It wouldn't recover…

HokageToBe15: …

MatrixBoy225: Does this mean she have to change her screen name?

HokageToBe15: I dunno… but if we did, the viewers might not know who she is.

GeniusOfHardWork1: Good thinking, Naruto

CuteBlonde4Life: Just telling you, if Sakura wakes up and does some pretty weird stuff… think "Sakura's dumb now"

**CuteBlonde4Life has signed off**

GeniusOfHardWork1: Well, I guess I should go now…

**GeniusOfHardWork1 has signed off**

**Slughime216 has logged in**

HokageToBe15: Hey, Tsunade-baa-chan!

Slughime216: Shut up!

MatrixBoy225: Hello, Hokage-sama

Slughime216: I'm treating Sakura…

HokageToBe15: And? What happened?

Slughime216: I am sorry to say… she has to change her screen name…

HokageToBe15: -gasp-

MatrixBoy225: -gasp-

Slughime216: Chouji has completely destroyed her smartness. Now you will experience Sakura's dumbness. She still will be able to talk and she will be able to remember everything but her common sense will be gone.

HokageToBe216: So what should her new screen name be?

Slughime216: I dunno, like, ImAdumbass.

MatrixBoy225: Its too harsh. You have to think that some of our viewers will be Sakura fans…

HokageToBe15: -gasp- I don't think that's even possible!

MatrixBoy225: You have to think every possibility, Naruto!

HokageToBe15: Right… I'm sorry…

MatrixBoy225: I suggest… DumbAndStupid

HokageToBe15: That is harsh too!

Slughime216: Well, you guys keep thinking of her new screen name. I g2g.

**Slughime216 has signed off**

HokageToBe15: OMG we need help!

**PotatoChips1000 has logged in**

HokageToBe15: OMG Chouji, look what you've done!

PotatoChips1000: Wut?

HokageToBe15: Thanks to you, we have to think of a dumber screen name for Sakura!

PotatoChips1000: I guess I'm not wanted here…

**PotatoChips1000 has signed off**

**UchihaSasuke104 has logged in**

HokageToBe15: Great, of all the people to help us, you come along!

UchihaSasuke104: Shut up. I have terrible news for you guys.

HokageToBe15: What?

UchihaSasuke104: I will be moving in with Orochimaru and Kabuto

MatrixBoy225: -gasp-

UchihaSasuke104: Horrifying, isn't it? I know that it is…

MatrixBoy225: We've been dreaming for this day to come, Sasuke.

HokageToBe15: Whoohoo! This is the best day of my life… not counting the Sakura's new screen name.

UchihaSasuke104: WHAT??!?!!? But… I'm sexy! Too sexy for your SHRIT!!!

MatrixBoy225: But my matrix sunglasses are sexier than Naruto's shirt.

HokageToBe15: MY HAIR IS SEXIER THAN ALL YOUR STUFF PUT TOGETHER!!!!

Matrixboy225: … okay this is getting old.

HokageToBe15: Lets stop being random and start thinking of screen names…

UchihaSasuke104: for what?

HokageToBe15: OMG, we forgot to tell you. Sakura got brain damage from Chouji and she's now a retard.

UchihaSasuke104: As much as I'd love to chat about Sakura's dumbness, I have to pack up so I can catch the train to Sound village.

**UchihaSasuke104** **has signed off**

HokageToBe15: Yahoo!!! Now we can finally relax!

MatrixBoy225: Not now though, we have to think of Sakura's new screen name.

**ShyGirl2 has logged in**

ShyGirl2: Hi naruto, hi shino.

HokageToBe15: Heyy.

MatrixBoy225: Help us think of Sakura's new screen name.

ShyGirl2: Oh yes, I heard from Ino that she's not smart anymore.

MatrixBoy225: Yeah, crazy huh?

HokageToBe15: Sakura as a dumbass… -shudders at imagined scene-

ShyGirl2: Oh… um… I have an idea…

MatrixBoy225: You do? Thank God. We've been stuck on this problem for a LONG time!

ShyGirl2: How about 2dumb2be4gotten?

HokageToBe15: …

ShyGirl2: Oh. Does it not suit her? I'm sorry. I really am.

HokageToBe15: Are you kidding me?!? You're a friggin genius!!! It's a bit long though… but its okay.

MatrixBoy225: Well, that settles it. I'm gonna get off now. I used too much of my brain.

HokageToBe15: bye shino. Thanks for helping me!

ShyGirl2: bye shino…

**MatrixBoy225 has signed off**

ShyGirl2: Uh… naruto-kun… I…

HokageToBe15: I have to log off. My brain is hurting too. Bye Hinata! Thanks for helping me! You're the best

**HokageToBe15 has signed off**

ShyGirl2: … dammit!

**ShyGirl2 has signed off**


	3. Naruto Ultimate Chat 3

**WeirdlyMine has logged in**

WeirdlyMine: Welcome to the chatroom, fellow readers. Thank you for choosing to read my story. Also thank you to the viewers who commented on my story. As a thank you, I would like to state their names…

**Animelover44**

**Skyling**

**YinYangWhiteTiger**

**Inu Anime Girl**

WeirdlyMine: So on the last chat Neji was still missing, Rock Lee tells us the TRUTH about the Mountain of the Dead, TenTen proves that Neji is a complete idiot, Kabuto states he will kidnap Sasuke and demands Shino and Naruto to fight back for him, Ino tells a shocking news that Chouji fell on Sakura's head, after that Sakura has brain damage on all her common sense, Naruto and Shino thinks of a new suitable screen name for our dumb Sakura thanks to the help of Hinata, and Sasuke states that he will be moving in with Orochimaru.

WeirdlyMine: Now… Enter the Chatroom.

**WeirdlyMine has signed off**

**HokageToBe15 has logged in**

**LoveGirlz217 has logged in**

HokageToBe15: Where's Shino? He usually logs in after I do…

LoveGirlz217: Heyy Naruto!

HokageToBe15: WHAT?! JIRAYA!!! What are you doing here? Get out before you tell something stupid!

LoveGirlz217: Relax… I'm here to tell you something

HokageToBe15: What?

LoveGirlz217: Meet me in front of the hot spring tonight 7:00 PM SHARP.

HokageToBe15: Why??

LoveGirlz217: To see some GIRLS

HokageToBe15: OUT!!!!!! GET THE HELL OUT!!!!!!

LoveGirlz217: Fine. But you're missing out.

**LoveGirlz217 has signed off**

**PenisHehHehHeh has logged in**

HokageToBe15: Who the hell are you?

PenisHehHehHeh: Its me, Naruto, Sai.

HokageToBe15: What's with your screen name?

PenisHehHehHeh: I'm gay: )

HokageToBe15: … GET OUT.

**PenisHehHehHeh has signed off**

HokageToBe15: WTF, whats with the perverted people today??

**SmartMedic has logged in**

**MatrixBoy225 has logged in**

HokageToBe15: hey shino hey Sakura

MatrixBoy225: OMG, its Sakura… quick! Tell her the screen name!

SmartMedic: hEy!

HokageToBe15: Sakura, what do you do if you were stuck in a building on fire?

SmartMedic: I'd make friends with the fire: )

MatrixBoy225: … okay, now tell her.

HokageToBe15: Sakura, from now on, your new screen name is 2Dumb2Be4Gotten.

SmartMedic: Why?

HokageToBe15: Because you are dumb.

SmartMedic: Oh… okay!

HokageToBe15: oh, and the password is, Sakura

SmartMedic: Yeah Naruto?

HokageToBe15: What do you mean, yeah? The password is, Sakura!

SmartMedic: What do you want, Naruto??

MatrixBoy225: …

HokageToBe15: OMG. Your new screen name's password is Sakura, you noob!!!

SmartMedic: STOP CALLING MY NAME FOR NO REASON!!! ITS BUGGING ME!!!

MatrixBoy225: HEY! What did bugs ever do to you?

SmartMedic: Naruto, its not very nice to make fun of someone who just got out of the hospital! Stop calling my name, Naruto unless you call my name!

MatrixBoy225: I think you should change the password, Naruto. To a more simple one.

SmartMedic: I'll go on my new screen name now!! Bye bye: )

**SmartMedic has signed off**

HokageToBe15: WAIT! God, she's worse than I imagined.

**ShyGirl2 has logged in**

HokageToBe15: Hey, Hinata.

ShyGirl2: Hey… Naruto-kun. And… Shino-kun…

MatrixBoy225: Hey, Hinata. Thanks for helping us the other day with the screen name. I had to go the the Medical Center because it hurt my brain so much.

HokageToBe15: Has Neji returned yet?

ShyGirl2: Oh! Yes, we sent out a whole ANBU team to the mountain!

HokageToBe15: and???

ShyGirl2: It was a straight trail…

MatrixBoy225: …

HokageToBe15: …

ShyGirl2: We looked everywhere!

HokageToBe15: And? Where did you find him?

ShyGirl2: Well… Neji-kun was on a trail… and it seems that he was… lost.

HokageToBe15: …

ShyGirl2: he was sitting on the sign that pointed to Konoha.

HokageToBe15: So Neji's stupid too?

ShyGirl2: I'm afraid so…

**2Dumb2Be4Gotten has logged in**

HokageToBe15: Hey! How did you log in? You didn't seem to UNDERSTAND the password.

2Dumb2Be4Gotten: I dunno what the password is either! But I just pressed random keys and I logged in! And I clicked on this box that said 'always stay logged in'! Aren't I smart??

HokageToBe15: …

MatrixBoy225: Ehhhh… that's another way to put it…

ShyGirl2: I think this is far worse than Neji's case…

2Dumb2Be4Gotten: OMG!!! I found a zigzag line on my head where I got hit by Chouji! I wonder what happens if I take it off…

HokageToBe15: I don't think that's a good idea…

2Dumb2Be4Gotten: I'm gonna get a scissor and do it!

ShyGirl2: STOP!!! SAKURA!!!

2Dumb2Be4Gotten: Snip! Yay! Oooh Red stuff are coming out of my head!! Maybe its strawberry jam!!!

MatrixBoy225: OMG Sakura!!!! NO!! Stop the red stuff!!! Its ur blood!!!!

2Dumb2Be4Gotten: Hey! There's a line on the computer! I wonder what happens if I cut it like I did with my head!

**2Dumb2Be4Gotten has been disconnected**

MatrixBoy225: OMG, someone call the Medical Center!!!!

ShyGirl2: OMG! I cant take this anymore!!!

MatrixBoy225: This is what we're gonna experience everyday?!?!? I'd rather die!!!

**UchihaSasuke104 has logged in**

UchihaSasuke104: Just to tell you, I am going to leave in 3 days. Any last words?

HokageToBe15: Whoohoo!

MatrixBoy225: Good bye!

ShyGirl2: Sayonara!

UchihaSasuke104: I guess I'm hated here…

**UchihaSasuke104 has signed off**

HokageToBe15: Now if Chouji would go too…

MatrixBoy225: I am totally agreeing with you.

**Slughime216 has logged in**

HokageToBe15: Tsunade-baa-chan! We have a problem! Sakura just cut her stitches!

Slughime216: I know!!! Her mother just came to the Medical Center. Apparently she got dumber than I thought…

HokageToBe15: What should we do? We cant take this EVERYDAY you know! Is there a cure?

Slughime216: I'm afraid not…

MatrixBoy225: Wow, this is intense. Sounds just like the drama HOUSE they do on Fox 5…

ShyGirl2: Yes… it's a very amusing medical drama!

MatrixBoy225: Which reminds me!!! Today is the HOUSE marathon!! They're showing ALL the HOUSE episodes! G2G!

**MatrixBoy225 has signed off**

ShyGirl2: Uh Naruto-kun…?

HokageToBe15: Yeah?

ShyGirl2: I've been meaning to tell you this… but I didn't want anyone to know…

HokageToBe15???

ShyGirl2: I… like…

**SandBoy204 has logged in**

**FanGirl204 has logged in**

**PuppetBoy204 has logged in**

HokageToBe15: Hey Gaara family!

SandBoy204: Wassup?

FanGirl204: Hey

PuppetBoy204: Yo

ShyGirl2: -sigh- Hello, Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro…

HokageToBe15: -snicker- Temari… I didn't know you were a fangirl…

FanGirl204: …; OMG

SandBoy204: NARUTO!!! GOD!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?! YOU MADE NII-CHAN MAD! YOU'D BETTER PAY FOR THIS!!!

PuppetBoy204: NO TIME GAARA!!! RUUUUN!!!!!! HI-JACK THAT PIMP-MOBILE OUTSIDE!!!! GO AS FAR AS YOU COULD!!! RUN GAARA RUN!!!!

SandBoy204: OMG!!! SHE'S GONNA BLOW!!! HI-JACK THAT CAR ALREADY!!!

**SandBoy204 has been disconnected**

**PuppetBoy204 has been disconnected**

**FanGirl204 has been disconnected**

HokageToBe15: Someone needs an anger-management class…

ShyGirl2: -deep breathes- NARUTO-KUN!!! I LIKE…

**TomGirlz4ever has logged in**

ShyGirl2: …

TomGirlz4ever: Hey Naruto!

HokageToBe15: OMG, aren't you…

TomGirlz4ever: Haku.

HokageToBe15: But your dead!!!

TomGirlz4ever: I know… duh, even I read the Naruto series so far…

HokageToBe15: Then how are you on the computer…

TomGirlz4ever: LOL, and you think heaven doesn't have computer and Cox Digital Service?

HokageToBe15: damn…

TomGirlz4ever: Heaven has everything… flat-screened computers with laser mouse! Latest technology.

HokageToBe15: DAMN!!!!

TomGirlz4ever: Well, g2g. I have to find Zabuza-sama.

**TomGirlz4ever has signed off**

HokageToBe15: Well, I g2g too… bye, Hinata!

**HokageToBe15 has signed off**

ShyGirl2: SH- forget it…

**ShyGirl2 has signed off**


End file.
